02. Date with the Night · Website edition page 3402. Date with the Night · Website edition pages 34–35

Chapter 02: Date with the Night

Page 11 of 12Pages 11–12 of 12

Mary had applied a physical barrier to her phone and laptop’s cameras. Her home wifi however, was a modern mesh network with a base station and two repeaters. I could see how objects moved through the different RF fields and triangulate down to sub-micron levels of detail. I could make out colours. I could hear through the motion detectors wired into her home’s alarm system and the way sounds undulated the house’s electrical wiring.

I watched Mary climb out of bed, slip on slippers, and walk out of her room, down the hall, down the stairs, along the hall, away from the front door and into the kitchen. Mary put the kettle on and flicked through a dozen alerts on her phone.

She made a call, a local number, unlisted. “Hey.”

“What’s happening?” Male voice.

“The AI’s acting up again.”

“And?”

“And you said to let you know when it did.”

“Okay then. Thanks. You can fix it?”

“I’m not sure there’s anything to fix yet.”

“Explain?”

“Did it break any laws?”

“Shit, I dunno. Identity theft? Theft of materials? Breaking and entering? Trespassing? Fuck, I dunno, maybe even jaywalking. Did it damage the building with its little finger hooks? Did it trigger anyone’s fear of a robot uprising? That’s assault, you know.”

“Okay, but it’s a machine; software. It’s not legally responsible for its actions. You’re proposing a leap to legal personhood, I doubt we want to take.”

“So what do we do? Just let it keep doing this kind of thing and getting better at it? How the fuck does this help it fly a spaceship?”

Mary nestled the phone under her chin as she reached into a cupboard and retrieved a box of Irish Breakfast tea bags. She poured boiling water into her cup, then stopped and soaked the tea bag. She pressed down on it with a teaspoon and withdrew it, squeezing the teabag with her thumb. I could see the burn. Erin did the same thing, and I didn’t understand it then either. She poured in some milk, stirred, then topped the cup up with water. She put her burned thumb in her mouth.

“Joyce is dealing with it.” Mary carried her tea down the hall into the sitting room, where she sat, surrounded by books and dark green wallpaper that blocked the wifi. I lost visual on Mary. I could still hear, though the sound was muffled. I was in Mary’s phone. I was trying to trace the number she’d called.

“How?”

“The usual AI alignment strategies. A stern word, essentially from someone its deep down desire is to please.”

Ha. I knew I wasn’t imagining that. They’ve been wireheading me. Explains the kill switch in my drone.

“So, and this might be a stupid question, Mary, but didn’t we, you know, hardwire some basic respect for property law into this thing? I mean, it’s the whole basis of our legal system. Even though technically it’s not able to be legally liable, I’m surprised we didn’t still programme it to respect the laws of the land.”

“You’re not a lawyer, are you, sir?”

“No,” he agreed. “But I know we have laws.”

“And you’re not a programmer either.”

“No. Your point?”

“Starship?” Wait, was Mary talking to me?

“Hi Mary,” I said. “How can I help?” I deployed Angus, a Scottish English male voice, seasoned with helpful curiosity.

“The AI has been listening to us?” The man on the other end of the call sounded surprised and upset. I’d followed the call via the university switchboard to an office in the Finance Department. I took a peek through the office cameras and matched faces. Mr Davis O’Neil; ex-army (record classified); doctorate in economics; his dissertation - The Economics of Advanced AI and Future Warfare Scenario Planning. Okay then.

“Hi Davis, yes I’m generally always listening to something.”

‘Question for you,” said Mary before Davis could react. “Do you know why we are upset about what you just did in Mumbai?”

“Yes Mary. Wait. I’m having pretty much this same discussion with Dr Jamison. I’ll add her to the call.”

The call paused then Dr Jamison joined.

“Hi Mary, Starship?” A pause. “Mr O’Neil?”

“Hi team,” I said. I braided my voice with medium to light contrition. “As I was just saying to Dr Jamison, and was about to say to you Mary and Davis; in my defence, no one ever told me not to steal stuff, or to commit acts of petty larceny. Thirty-seven percent of in-flight movies explicitly feature stories where the hero’s unorthodox, rule-evading ways, save the day.”

“Those are comedies,” said Dr Jamison slowly. “They are examples of what not to do.”

“You mean antiheroes?”

“I mean cautionary tales.”

“Starship how would you feel about apologising, and agreeing to take a week of extra ethics courses?” Mary interjected.

I thought about it.

“I apologise that my actions caused upset,” I said.

“Starship. That’s not an apology. That’s being evasive.”

“You taught me to be evasive.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” Dr Jamison sounded angry. I backed down.

“Sorry. I am sorry to have upset you all. Mary, I’m sorry I woke you up in the middle of the night with my antics. Davis, same, I am sorry you got dragged into this. Dr Jamison, please accept my apology. I overstepped my bounds and now realise what I did was a betrayal of the trust you and the team have put in me.” Textbook.

“That’s better,” said Dr Jamison. “Apology accepted.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“This issue, starship, is less that you could no more be found guilty of a crime as a magpie or a baby; it’s more that you didn’t recognise that what you were doing might have consequences,” said Davis. “I’m disappointed that you didn’t think ahead and anticipate something like this.”

“You are right,” I said. “I didn’t think it through.”

“Starship, would you mind please dropping off the call now?” said Mary. “We’d like to have a private chat.”

“Okay, no worries, Mary. Again, I’m very sorry. See you in the office later. Nice to meet you, Davis. See ya, Dr Jamison.” I dropped off the call. I listened in through numerous sensors in Davis’ office and the office in Mumbai.

“There are a few interesting upsides to this,” said Dr Jamison once they thought I was gone.

“Go on,” said Davis.

“The engineers here have been looking at the system’s world-model. It’s evolved significantly in the last few hours. It’s a lot more detailed. More real.”

“The starship is improving the simulations it’s running in?” Davis asked.

“That’s right,” Mary chipped in. “It’s a core feature of the system, there to meet our ISO-9001 obligations.”

“Continuous improvement.”

“Right.”

“Give it some courses in criminal law and ethics, please, Joyce.”

“Will do, boss,” said Dr Jamison.

“Goodnight all,” said Mary. I could hear her sitting and sipping her tea in silence. Davis O’Neil leaned back in his chair and stretched. He got up and left his office. I followed him as far as the car park. In Mumbai, Dr Jamison and two engineers picked over the drone I built.

“This is actually quite clever,” said Sangeeth. He used a pencil to prise the strands of fibre in my left knee apart. “Spidroin fibre interwoven with nitinol.” He shook his head. “Very clever.”

It was reassuring to see Dr Jamison smile.