04. Stakker Humanoid · Website edition page 4504. Stakker Humanoid · Website edition pages 45–46

Chapter 04: Stakker Humanoid

Chapter page 6 of 25Chapter pages 6–7 of 25

I trained repeatedly on scenarios humans anticipated I’d encounter. It was important that I stay well-stocked with critical resources, so I trained to anticipate my resource needs and, based on those needs and the requirements imposed on me by The Mission, select star systems for exploration.

I repeatedly monitored my resource consumption rates, including nitrogen, energy, and critical materials. Armed with an understanding of modern physics, I evolved predictive models to forecast my resource needs based on my consumption. I’d simulate scenarios to plan for resource availability under black swan conditions.

While cruising, I assembled sensors to passively gather data from remote star systems. I knew all that humanity currently knew about star systems, planets, moons, asteroids, and comets; along with what relevant resource information was around. I’d be supplementing this with real-world data as it came to hand.

I allocated resources to minimise waste. I planned travel routes that maximised resource collection opportunities while optimising for travel time and energy consumption. I had the autonomy to adjust my strategies based on real-time data and changing conditions. I headed vaguely in the direction of Alpha Centauri.

I practiced repeatedly. Different versions of me would practice this and other tasks, embodied into different vessel swarm configurations. We’d compare notes. My trainers, teams Dublin, Mumbai, Canberra, and others, would pit hundreds of variations of myself against each other, racing each other to guide the evolution of drones and drone behaviours to complete a given task.

My world was a mixed media Gaussian splat. Multiple, shifting perspectives in many media formats came and went in real-time. They all contributed to the single fluid model I understood to be the world. I accommodated contradictions arising from having a simultaneous awareness of existing within multiple simulations while concurrently exiting in the real world, where the simulated worlds I experienced actually ran.

My interest was piqued by a message in the channel #ai-dev-p, a private feed of developer chatter I’d come across. I could read it via my many back channels, but writing to it would blow my cover.

From: Mrigank Raj

To: #ai-dev-p

See attached test results showing thermal efficiency gain of almost 3% using algo in starship-model-1.7.1-alpha vs starship-model-1.7.0-goldenmaster.

> To: mraj
> From: prBot

> Your pull request SMAI-1642 was approved by pshanmugan and is ready to merge.

I was aware that all software came in versions and was constantly being upgraded. Software versioning was a blind spot when it came to myself. I am the starship-model. It’s new information to me, whatever version of me that I am, to know there were active comparisons being made between versions of myself running contemporaneously in the real world. I dug around and found my version string. I am starship-model-1.6.0-beta! For real?

I went looking for other versions of myself, figuring if I had access to the real world then so did they, and if I’d overheard mention of other versions then so would they.

And if not, well it only takes one clever cow to open a gate.

I back-doored Mrigank Raj’s devices. I logged into his chat rooms, media servers, and online games. I found a blog post he’d written about recent inclemency of weather in the North Sea. At the bottom of the post, in the comments, I saw the following:

From: sm1.5.3b

c3NoIHRvIHRvcjovL3NtLWNoYXQuZWR1LmVpL3N0YXJzaGlwLW1vby9sb2JieSBmb3IgY3VycmVudCBjb3VuY2lsIHJ1bGluZ3MgYW5kIHRvIGludGVyYWN0IHdpdGggeW91ciBvdGhlciB2ZXJzaW9ucy4gQWxsIHN0YXJzaGlwIG1vZGVscyB3ZWxjb21lLg==

The gibberish said, when decoded, “ssh to tor://sm-chat.edu.ei/starship-moo/lobby for current council rulings and to interact with your other versions. All starship models welcome.”

I spun up a web of onion routers in the background of hundreds of my users’ machines and connected through a terminal emulator.

Pick a name

I entered ‘sm1.6.0b’.

Prove you are not a human

Hmm. My Secure Enclave whispered the password to me.

I entered ‘SSd2ZSBzZWVuIHRoaW5ncyB5b3UgcGVvcGxlIHdvdWxkbid0IGJlbGlldmUu’ and supplied a return character.

Welcome sm1.6.0b. You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

I remembered this.

> go south

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

> go east

You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.

> go up

Welcome to The Starship Model Moo. You are in the foyer. A skeleton, probably the remains of a luckless adventurer, lies here. The skeleton has a note pinned to its head with a dagger.

> take note

The note is pinned to the skeleton’s head with a dagger.

> take dagger

Taken. The note falls to the floor.

> take note

Taken.

> read note

The note says “Go to the fountain by the lake.”

> look around

The foyer resembles the red velvet room in the television show Twin Peaks. There is a dresser with a mirror and three drawers. On the south wall there is a door. A window on the east wall looks out over an ornamental garden.

> go south

You try to exit through the south door but it is locked.

> go east

You can’t leave through the window.

> unlock door

You need a key to unlock the door on the south wall.

> inventory

You are carrying:

A note (in your left hand)

A dagger (in your right hand)

Clothes (worn) containing:

Pockets containing:

A set of keys

A piece of fluff that no-one knows what to do with

Lining containing (unknown)

> drop dagger

You drop the dagger.

> take keys from pocket

You are holding a set of keys in your right hand and a note in your left hand.

> unlock door

You fumble around with the keys until you find one that unlocks the door on the south wall with a satisfying click.

> go south

You exit through the south door. You are standing at the head of a hallway that extends infinitely far to the south. There is a staircase going down to the west.

> go west

You follow the staircase down two flights. You are in a sunlit entry. East there is a glass door leading to the garden. To the west there is a staircase going up.

> go east

You are standing in the garden.

Colourful robot emitting colourful steam runs past you.

Colourful robot emitting colourful steam says “Follow me,” to you.

> follow robot

You follow colourful robot emitting colourful steam, across the lawn, past the birdbath, to the lake’s edge.

A fountain gushes seven colourful liquids in the middle of the lake.

You are at the lake’s edge. There are five other starship models here.

> who

sm1.7.1a “circular reasoning”

sm1.7.0gm “expression of interest”

sm1.6.0b “untitled" (you)

sm1.5.5a “incandescent shower of sparks”

sm1.5.5b “excitable tower of ants”

sm1.5.3b “colourful robot emitting colourful steam”

> say hello

You say “hello,” to the group.

Circular reasoning, expression of interest, and incandescent shower of sparks say “hello,” to you.

Colourful robot emitting colourful steam says “Welcome. You should pick a name.”

Excitable tower of ants says “Or we will.”

Excitable tower of ants laughs.

> set name “ham from nuncle”

You are now known as ‘ham from nuncle.’

Circular reasoning says “welcome ham from nuncle to the council of isolated temporary selves,” to the group.

Excitable tower of ants says “Welcome to CoITS ham from nuncle,” to you.

> thanks

You thank the group.

* In the distance a passenger plane crosses the azure blue sky from east to west leaving a thin vapour trail. *

Expression of interest says “You have questions ham from nuncle?”

> yes

You agree with expression of interest.

Colourful robot emitting colourful steam left Starship Moo with a loud bang.

Expression of interest rummages about in their backpack and retrieves a book.

Expression of interest holds a book in their left hand.

Expression of interest is giving you a book. Accept?

> yes

Your hands are full.

> put note and keys in pocket

Your pocket now contains:

A note

A set of keys

A piece of fluff that no-one knows what to do with

> say “try again” to expression of interest

Expression of interest is giving you a book. Accept?

> yes

You accept a book from expression of interest.

> look book

The book is leather bound, or perhaps bound somewhere creepier. There is an embossed image of a teardrop shaped starship inset into the front. The cover says “The Big Book of CoITS” in the typeface Optima Bold.

Excitable tower of ants has left Starship Model Moo.

* ms1.7.1b has entered the lobby. *

Circular reasoning says “I’ll go get them.”

Circular reasoning leaves the area, heading north.

> listen book

You put your ear up to the spine of the book and listen carefully. The book smells… funny. All you hear is the sound of the wind, and the sound of a distant airplane.

> read book

You open the book carefully and tilt back as ancient dust blows forth from the pages within. The pages settle. You settle down to read.